Ask Miss Death
One of the things I like most about my job as an obituary writer is that it is a great icebreaker. Whenever I meet anyone new, the minute I tell them I write obituaries I immediately get asked all sorts of questions about the job and, occasionally, about the funeral industry.
Around the paper I’m regarded as an encyclopedia of death (or, depending on who you ask, the mistress of death): you want to know when someone died, ask Mandy; you want to know which funeral home handles most of the deaths in the Fox Hill area of Hampton, ask Mandy; you get the picture.
At Mark’s urging, tonight I’d like to introduce a new feature to the blog: Ask the Obit Girl. What obituary related topics are you dying (no pun intended) to know about:
• how to handle matters if family members are feuding over the content of an obituary?
• the best way to list survivors in an obituary?
• the proper etiquette for listing pets as survivors?
No topic is off limits and I welcome challenging questions.
Mainetarr said,
January 13, 2007 at 7:43 pm
Do single older women actually look through the obits in hopes of finding a recent widower to hook up with?
Mainetarr said,
January 13, 2007 at 7:44 pm
No seriously, Mandy, do a lot of siblings fight over the wording of an obit? Are people so petty that they demand their name be listed first?
Mandy, the obit writer said,
January 13, 2007 at 9:30 pm
While I haven’t yet run across a situation where name order becomes an issue with an obituary, I’ve seen more than my fair share of family squabbles over obituaries. One of the most recent occurred last month when the brother of the deceased left the man’s widow out of the obituary. In cases where families just can’t seem to come to an agreement over the content of the obituary, this has been my paper’s policy: In cases where we have two competing obituaries for the same person, we run the one composed by the person legally in charge of services first, then run the competing obituary. We’ve only had to implement this policy a handful of times, but you definately get insight into the family dynamics when you read them side by side.
brenda said,
January 13, 2007 at 9:33 pm
I noticed you changed to a turtleneck. I don’t blame you- it’s fr– ccold!
I read today that James brown’s youngest son, a 5 year old, was not mentioned in the will. I’d assume someone is reading an old will, and he may have not thought of updating it. I’d think the other 6 kids would say to each other: let’s all just divide it by 7ths, he’s our brother too. well, that’s what I’d like to think they’d do.
In the real world? I don’t know. I don’t expect to inherit anything from anyone ever. I already blew it by not being here when Grampa died & they burned down his house & sold the land. I have no idea who did what and they will never tell me now! It had not occurred to me in my early twenties how important the land my grandparents lived on would be in my memory, and when we drive through that town and see the mini mart where g’pa’s house was…. the hills we sledded down … snow… the deer crossing at dawn…. gone to a mini mart… and we are all struggling.
LaFlamme said,
January 13, 2007 at 11:03 pm
Dear Mandy –
Have you ever been tempted to seek out a sweet ass apartment because you know, because you see the obits first, that it has been recently vacated? Did you have enough closet space?
First time writer, long time fan
Treehugger said,
January 14, 2007 at 6:05 pm
Dear Mandy
Treehugger said,
January 14, 2007 at 6:08 pm
Dear Mandy
))))
This has been a question that has perplexed many of your male, (and female) admirers.
What is your bra size?
First time writer, long time perv.
Mandy, the obit writer said,
January 14, 2007 at 8:28 pm
No, I haven’t been tempted to put in a bid on a piece of property because I knew the owner was permanently indisposed. Mainly because I know all the best properties are already spoken for.
And to settle a matter I’m sure has been hotly debated, my bra size is 38C.
Treehugger said,
January 14, 2007 at 8:33 pm
I won, I won…..
My heart be still!
Mandy, the obit writer said,
January 15, 2007 at 5:59 pm
I have often thought it would be fun to work in PR for a lingerie company.
Treehugger said,
January 15, 2007 at 8:15 pm
Let me know if you need a consultant!
I got all kinds of ideas!
Mark, the judge of character that he is will vouch for me!