Die laughing
I have a little confession to make about obituaries: while I always approach obituaries and the families and/or funeral directors who write them with the utmost professionalism and respect, there is a goldmine of humor that can occasionally be found in obituaries that I can’t resist acknowledging from time to time.
Sometimes the humor is unintentional, arising from rather unfortunate typos that are caught and corrected before the obituary goes to press. For example, over the last six years I’ve received obituaries with the following errors:
“Please send donations to the Panty Fund of Immaculate Conception Catholic Church.”
“He is survived by two sins, John and Michael.”
“He is survived by sisters, Ann and Joan, and most of Laura.”
Then there is the humor that arises from obituaries for people who have unique nicknames or very creative families: I recently received an obituary for someone named “Whank” Johnson.
An obituary for a man who worked on the railroad his entire life ended with this statement: “Herb’s train has finally left for heaven.”
Another obituary had this statement that revealed a little more than I wanted to
know about the deceased: “Beloved mother of David, Frank, Rhonda and Judy, Helen loved a lot in her time.”
Finally, here are the opening two sentences from a recent obituary: “Terry reported for duty in Heaven to his Captain face-to-face on Tuesday, Jan.18, 2007, at 4:35 p.m. It is understood that he will be working with horses.”
Working with obituaries is a very intense job; you’re working with grief stricken families making major decisions within a short span of time. If I didn’t find occasional moments of levity, I’d be a complete nervous wreck, unable to work with families in any capacity. However, I do religiously watch “The Tonight Show” Mondays and Tuesdays to make sure none of my obituaries made Jay Leno’s “Headlines” segment.
LaFlamme said,
January 18, 2007 at 2:34 am
“…and most of Laura.”
The imagination runs amok.
brenda said,
January 18, 2007 at 8:41 am
oh,no! did Herb die again?
AO said,
January 18, 2007 at 2:35 pm
I thought Herb’s train left for Thailand.
Linda said,
January 18, 2007 at 4:59 pm
We can only hope so.
Treehugger said,
January 18, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as Brown-n-Serve, Fresh was an avid gardener and tennis player.
Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Skippy.
The grave side was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who “never knew how much he was kneaded.”
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes–conned by those who buttered him up. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.
Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Treehugger said,
January 18, 2007 at 8:28 pm
Mandy, speaking of BUNS, how ya’ doin’?
Mandy, the obit writer said,
January 18, 2007 at 9:41 pm
Doing fine. I hope you’re well.
I am working on getting together some new photos for the blog.
Treehugger said,
January 18, 2007 at 10:39 pm
Yea , Mandy Malone……….HOTTTTTTTTT
Mandy, the obit writer said,
January 25, 2007 at 10:02 pm
Sometimes, families get very creative when saying their loved one died. Apparently the phrase “passed away” just isn’t enough. Consider this one:
On Jan. 22, 2007, while in peaceful deep sleep, a calling from our Heavenly Father spoke to his child, Charlie. He knew it was time for him to come home to his Father and leave this troubled world.
The obit logic of this one boggles the mind.